For once, silence got the best of me
And it's a good thing, a blessing I realized during the Chapter Assembly this Sunday (October 5).
That day, I don't want to draw attention to myself, not really interested in greeting everyone, starting conversations, sharing the happenings of the past week, or even teaching songs. There's nothing wrong with my faith, nothing wrong with the people around me. I just suffered from extreme exhaustion for some unknown reasons. I think I suffered from physical, psychological and spiritual dryness that I tried to suppress lest someone from the group will notice. I just wanted to stay at the background, sit at the back and listen to the sharing of my beloved brothers and sisters. I'm not even in the mood to clap, to laugh, or to eat. But I listened well.
Unexpectedly, I realized that, yeah, this is the blessing I've been wishing to God for this week. God allowed me to shut up for the whole 5 hours so that I'd be able to listen to other people. If I had been my usual jolly self at that time, I may have started talking whoever sat next to me and would never understand the sharings. And I've been truly inspired and thankful for everyone who shared that day. Each of them had said powerful phrases that appealed to me and really made a mark on my life. Slowly, I began to relax and surrender to God's will and when I was asked for a new responsibility, I graciously accepted for I know that I can never turn down a request from God.
I went home, and I cried for I am still very tired. But I also prayed and had some reflection - will I still love God in the same intensity as I do right now even if he won't give me the very thing that I've prayed for? God gave me the answer immediately, the answer has always been in my heart as He alone gives me directions through my heart. I just had to be still and let God have his way.
That day, I don't want to draw attention to myself, not really interested in greeting everyone, starting conversations, sharing the happenings of the past week, or even teaching songs. There's nothing wrong with my faith, nothing wrong with the people around me. I just suffered from extreme exhaustion for some unknown reasons. I think I suffered from physical, psychological and spiritual dryness that I tried to suppress lest someone from the group will notice. I just wanted to stay at the background, sit at the back and listen to the sharing of my beloved brothers and sisters. I'm not even in the mood to clap, to laugh, or to eat. But I listened well.
Unexpectedly, I realized that, yeah, this is the blessing I've been wishing to God for this week. God allowed me to shut up for the whole 5 hours so that I'd be able to listen to other people. If I had been my usual jolly self at that time, I may have started talking whoever sat next to me and would never understand the sharings. And I've been truly inspired and thankful for everyone who shared that day. Each of them had said powerful phrases that appealed to me and really made a mark on my life. Slowly, I began to relax and surrender to God's will and when I was asked for a new responsibility, I graciously accepted for I know that I can never turn down a request from God.
I went home, and I cried for I am still very tired. But I also prayed and had some reflection - will I still love God in the same intensity as I do right now even if he won't give me the very thing that I've prayed for? God gave me the answer immediately, the answer has always been in my heart as He alone gives me directions through my heart. I just had to be still and let God have his way.
Comments are closed for this blog post
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Comment by lanie macabuhay on October 6, 2008 at 4:26pm -
truly, we can only rest our hearts and minds in God's loving presence...
God speed sis!, many thanks for accepting the opportunity to a new service, I can see God is smiling,,hehehe!
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